Skip to main content

How to Choose Meaningful Life Goals



Achieving goals feels good – it is inherently satisfying to exercise your skills, talents, and abilities to get or accomplish what you desire in your life (Emmons, 1996). In addition, achieving goals that are consistent with your interests and core values, i.e., meaningful goals, enhances feelings of well-being and also satisfies your basic psychological needs of experiencing competence, autonomy, and relatedness (Sheldon & Elliot, 1999). Goal attainment also enhances well-being by positively influencing other facets of your life as described below (Sheldon et al., 2002):
  • Changes in your self-concept (e.g., you view yourself and your capabilities in a totally new way)
  • Changes in life circumstances (e.g., you gain valuable new opportunities or a new intimate relationship)
  • Changes in basic attitudes or philosophies regarding living, which may transform your general mood and well-being
  • Approval from others that enhances your global assessment of yourself
So how does one choose goals that are meaningful? The first step is to find out the areas in your life that you need to work on. More often than not, we tend to focus on one or two aspects of our lives such as work or relationships at the expense of other meaningful pursuits. This is because you may be erroneously defining your self-worth by successes in that particular realm of your life or using it as an escape because other areas in your life are faltering. In this context, the nine life domains described below will provide you a handy guide to balance your goals over all aspects of your life (McDermott & Snyder, 1999).
  1. Academic: Includes formal training, additional courses, seminars, workshops, or other means of continuing education.
  2. Family: Includes relationships with your spouse or life partner, children, parents, grandparents, and your extended family.
  3. Leisure: Includes time without duties or responsibilities, also called “spare time.”
  4. Personal growth and development: Includes self-knowledge and introspection.
  5. Health: Includes eating habits, physical exercise, monitoring alcohol and tobacco consumption, and getting enough rest.
  6. Romantic relationships: Includes relationships with significant others, which may or may not involve intimacy.
  7. Social: Includes relationships with others outside of family or romantic relationships.
  8. Spirituality: Relationship to God or a higher power, or spiritual relationship with nature.
  9. Work: Includes career.
For each domain, rate the importance of that life domain for you and also how satisfied your life is in each domain using the key below:
1 = Very dissatisfied/unimportant
2 = Somewhat dissatisfied/unimportant
3 = Neither
4 = Somewhat satisfied/important
5 = Very satisfied/important

Use the template in the table below to rate the importance and satisfaction for your life domains.

Life Domain
Importance (rate from 1-5)
Satisfaction (rate from 1-5)
Academic
Family
Leisure
Personal growth
Health
Romantic relationships
Social
Spirituality
Work

Once you have completed this exercise, it’s time to pay attention to two kinds of domains to choose your goals from. These are the domains with high importance, low satisfaction and those with low importance, low satisfaction. The former is self-explanatory whereas the latter may mean that you are unsatisfied with the low importance that domain has in your life (McDermott & Snyder, 1999). Try not to choose more than two life domains to work on at a time.  

Whether or not the goals you choose will actually enhance your well-being depends on several factors. These factors are listed below along with questions that you can ask yourself for each goal to understand how these factors influence your chosen goal (Emmons, 1986). For example, if your goal is to increase physical activity to improve your physical and mental health, then ask yourself the following questions regarding this goal:
  1. Value: “How much joy or happiness will I feel when I am successful in my goal?” and “How much sorrow or unhappiness will I feel if I fail to succeed in my goal?”
  2. Ambivalence: “How unhappy am I when I am successful in my goal?”
  3. Commitment: “How committed am I to my goal?”
  4. Importance: “How important is the goal to me in my life?”
  5. Effort: “How much energy and effort do I generally expend in trying to be successful in my goal?”
  6. Difficulty: “How difficult is it for me to succeed in my goal?”
  7. Clarity: “How clear an idea do I have of what I need to do to be successful in my goal?”
  8. Probability of success: “In the future, how likely is it that I will be successful in my goal?” (score this from 0% to 100%)
  9. Confidence: “How confident do I feel about the probability estimation?”
  10. Impact: “Does being successful in this goal have a helpful or harmful effect (or no effect at all) on other goals?”
These questions will help you pick and choose goals that have a greater chance of succeeding. To learn more about evidence-based self-management techniques that are proven to work for depression, check out Dr. Duggal's Author Page.

HARPREET S. DUGGAL, MD, FAPA

REFERENCES


Emmons, R. A. (1986). Personal strivings: an approach to personality and subjective well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 51(5), 1058-1068.

Emmons, R. A. (1996). Striving and feeling: personal goals and subjective well-being. In P. M. Gollwitzer & J. A. Bargh (Eds.), The psychology of action: Linking cognition and motivation to behavior (pp. 313-337). New York, NY: Guilford Press.

McDermott, D & Snyder, C. R. (1999). Making hope happen: A workbook for turning possibilities into reality. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Sheldon, K. M., & Elliot, A. (1999). Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: the self-concordance model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76(3), 482-497.

Sheldon, K. M., Kasser, T., Smith, K., & Share, T. (2002). Personal goals and psychological growth: testing an intervention to enhance goal attainment and personality integration. Journal of Personality, 70(1), 5-31.





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

10 Poor Listening Styles to Avoid

When we talk about communication, we mostly focus on speaking, writing, and reading. Listening is seldom emphasized as a primary form of communication, even though listening enables us to satisfy an individual’s deep psychological needs – to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, and to be appreciated (Covey, 2020). We mostly listen not to understand but to prepare response, judge, or interpret information through our own motives and frame of reference. These poor listening styles can be subsumed under these 10 categories (Covey 2014, Harvard Business Review Press, 2019): 1. Spacing out or ignoring is when you zone out because you are too preoccupied with your own thoughts. This does happen to all of us, but you don’t want to be labelled as a spacey person if this keeps happening to you.  2. Pretend or removed listening is where you may be multitasking and give the speaker the impression that you are paying attention using fillers like “yeah,” uh-huh,” “right,” “cool” or thr

The Art of Everyday Mindfulness

What is Mindfulness? If your notion of mindfulness is a practice starting with a phrase like, "Take a deep breath and close your eyes," then you have mostly bought into the myth that the only effective way of practicing mindfulness is guided meditation .  However, if you know what mindfulness entails, you can incorporate it in your daily routine in an informal way without relying on popular apps that have commercialized a practice known to humans for thousands of years.  Mindfulness-based interventions are well-validated treatment approaches that not only promote well-being and resilience but also have been found to be effective in anxiety, depression, chronic pain, and substance use disorders (Wielgosz et al., 2019). Mindfulness has two components: (a) orienting one’s attention purposefully to the present moment, and (b) approaching one’s experience in the present moment with curiosity, openness, and acceptance (Bishop et al., 2004). The state of mindfulness is described as

Value-Based Goals: The Antidote for “Success Depression”

A disconnect between your present accomplishments and your core values may make you suffer from success depression  wherein despite “having it all” (e.g., successful career, stable relationships, healthy children, etc.), you still struggle with depression and view your accomplishments as hollow (Zettle, 2007). The cure for this malaise is to clarify your core values and have goals and actions that are driven by these values. Psychotherapist Russ Harris describes values as our heart’s deepest desires for the way we want to interact with the world, other people, and ourselves. They are what we want to stand for in life, how we want to behave, what sort of person we want to be, and what sort of strengths and qualities we want to develop (Harris, 2009). Values are subjective; what one may consider as a value (e.g., being famous) may be considered as being cocky by another person. Moreover, values do change with time. For instance, you may value social popularity and raising a family