Self-Management of Depression

One of life's undeniable truths is that you will face failures. How one deals with these failures depends, among other factors, on one's compassion toward oneself and one's mindset toward adapting to failure. In this context, self-compassion and a growth mindset help you overcome your harsh inner critic, especially when failures lead you to judge yourself harshly, feel ashamed, or blame yourself. This article discusses how to use these tools in these situations.   Self-Compassion Put simply, self-compassion is compassion turned inwards, i.e., how you relate to yourself in instances of perceived failure, inadequacy, or personal suffering. The three components of the compassionate frame of mind are self-kindness, a sense of common humanity, and mindfulness (Neff, 2011). Let’s consider the following situation to illustrate how you can use three components to deal with an adversity that makes you critical of yourself. You couldn’t meet a deadline at work despite your best effor...

Perfectionism and Depression If your thoughts are, “I have to do it right,” “I have to do it all,” “I cannot fail,” “I have to keep up with others,” “Is this good enough?” or “I need to be in control,” then you are letting perfectionism dictate your life. As a perfectionist, you hold yourself to high standards because of irrational thoughts. These irrational thought patterns include all-or-none thinking and “should” and “must” statements. If you don’t meet your perfectionist standards, you start to feel worthless, which then fuels more depressive thinking. Perfectionists often seek pleasure by focusing on the results of their activities rather than enjoying the process. This then prevents them from savoring the simple pleasures of everyday life. In fact, perfectionism increases one’s vulnerability to depression, possibly because of a lack of self-compassion (Ferrari et al., 2018). In other words, perfectionist individuals are more likely to judge themselves harshly and criticize ...