Self-Management of Depression

Conflicts and arguments are an inevitable part of any relationship. However, there are strategies that will help you either avoid conflicts or handle them more constructively. The article discusses three such techniques.  1. Don’t do the “ABCDE” behaviors during communication The acronym “ABCDE” refers to certain types of communication behaviors that increase conflict in a relationship and include the following (Duggal, 2016): Accusation: Accusations usually are “You always …” or “You never…” statements. Accusations may have some kernel of truth in them, but that gets exaggerated and dramatized by the heat of the argument. Accusations lead to counteraccusations and defensiveness, and take the focus away from one’s own shortcomings and from resolving the conflict at hand. Blame: Individuals may blame their partner’s actions for a problem or blame their mental illness, moral weakness, or personal inadequacies for the problems the couple is facing. For example, “If you had taken tho...

If you are human, you will be on the receiving end of criticism. Criticism can be helpful, especially if it provides you feedback for improvement whereas at other times it is tantamount to bullying. Therefore, criticism needs to be handled depending on its type (Lazarus & Lazarus, 2000). 1. Irrelevant criticism: This kind of criticism comes from an individual who is critical of everyone or everything to the extent that they would make critical comments about something that is totally out of context and not relevant to the situation. For example, you are talking to your neighbor about an upcoming vacation you are planning and in the midst of your conversation, your neighbor states “….by the way you appear to be gaining weight.” Irrelevant criticism doesn’t deserve your response and is best ignored. Say, “OK, I appreciate you letting me know” and shift back to the conversation on hand. 2. Vague criticism: In this type of criticism, you are not sure if the person critici...