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Why Taking a Technology Fast is Good for You

Technology allows you to multitask – you are in a meeting but also watching for incoming texts from your spouse, or you are finishing a document while keeping an eye for incoming emails. Some workplaces expect you to be on top of your in-box at all times of the day. And then there is playing catch-up with the “likes” and “profile updates” on the social networking sites. One study found that the more people engaged in media multitasking, the higher their depression and anxiety levels tended to be (Becker et al., 2013). Use of social networking sites has also been associated with lower life satisfaction and worse mental health. This may stem from detraction from face-to-face relationships, reduced investment in meaningful activities, increased sedentary behavior, internet addiction, and erosion of self-esteem through unfavorable social comparisons (Shakya & Christakis, 2017). In addition, individuals prone for depression, while using social media sites, are more likely to negatively

4 Ways to Make Sense of Your Life

When asked about what their meaning in life is, most people go into a rambling monologue about the sources that create meaning in life such as family, relationships, work, hobbies, spirituality, etc. Or, after a nervous chuckle, they try to change the subject. Truthfully, what exactly meaning in life means is not easy to define and, not surprisingly, meaning in life often gets confused with other states of mind or psychological constructs. It gets mixed up with happiness (which is more akin to pleasure and immediate satisfaction), identity (which involves a more global sense of self), well-being (which is more reflective of quality of life), and search for meaning (which involves seeking meaning) (Hill, 2018). Why is this abstract concept of meaning in life so important? Research shows that having meaning in life helps you interpret and organize your experiences, build a sense of your own worth, identify what matters to you, and direct your energies more effectively. Having a greater

Expressive Writing: A Simple and Proven Tool to Manage Stress

Popular social media posts and self-help books extol the benefits of correctly naming our emotions, reproducing a lengthy menu of emotional labels to choose from. This is a good exercise in cultivating emotional intelligence through self-awareness. In this context, expressive writing is a simple and proven tool that expands on this facet of self-awareness to use writing as a tool to regulate emotions. Expressive writing involves engaging in deep and meaningful writing about a stressful life event or trauma (Pennebaker & Seagal, 1999). It is hypothesized that the act of converting emotions and images into words changes the way a person thinks and organizes about a stressful situation. By integrating thoughts and feelings related to the stress or trauma, an individual then can develop a more coherent narrative of the experience.  The instructions for expressive writing are as under (Gortner et al., 2006):      “For the next 3 days, write about your very deepest thoughts and feelings

What Defines Your Self-Worth? It is self-“RESPECT.”

              Popular self-help books try to convince you that you can improve your self-worth in 10 days. It's not that simple. Let's get to the definition of self-worth first. The American Psychological Association's Dictionary of Psychology defines self-worth as an "individual’s evaluation of himself or herself as a valuable, capable human being deserving of respect and consideration." The more positive feelings of self-worth an individual has, the higher their self-esteem is while persistent low self-worth can be a symptom of depression. As can be gleaned, the definition of self-worth is highly subjective and it not uncommon for people to harbor faulty notions about their self-worth. Your thinking may get skewed into believing that your self-worth is restricted to your performance in certain areas of life that are of special personal importance to you such as work, family life, or intellectual pursuits. You then mistakenly start defining your self-worth based

What are Your Hot Buttons?

What are Hot Buttons? We hear a lot about the importance of emotional intelligence in personal and work life. However, tangible and easy-to-use strategies to cultivate emotional intelligence without psychobabble are hard to find. One simple strategy to increase awareness of your and others’ emotions, a key component of emotional intelligence, is identifying your hot buttons (Lynn, 2007). This technique is useful in gauging your reactions during an emotionally charged or high-stress situation and makes you aware that there may be other ways of reacting to a situation rather than the usual fight-or-flight response. Hot buttons are events, words, phrases, situations, or a combination of these things that set off an immediate and intense negative emotion in you. People may not be intentionally trying to push these buttons, but your defensive reaction may drive them away. Thus, recognizing these hot buttons and not letting yourself give into these will help you maintain healthy interperson

Finding Meaning in Life by Clarifying Your Values

Too often we come across quotes in social media on the lines, "The older I get, the less I care about..." or the "The older I get, the more I appreciate..." Do we have to really wait for our golden years to find meaning in life? The answer is a resounding no. Since the dawn of time, poets, philosophers, theologists, and scientists have tried to make sense of the concept of meaning in life. As much as meaning in life is viewed as an amorphous psychological concept, there are tangible ways to explore one's meaning in life. Here's where values come into the picture. Value-focused exercises give you an insight into what really matters in your life.  These exercises also make you aware of the discrepancies between what you are pursuing in your life at present and what you really want your life to stand for. This discrepancy generates the drive and motivation to pursue goals that are more in line with your values. Also, these exercises help you reconsider the imp

The 3 Cs of Hardiness

What is Hardiness? A lot has been talked about resilience in popular media and, regrettably, most of these discussions don't go beyond the oft-repeated wellness strategies. In this context, hardiness is one of the existing psychological constructs that contributes to resilience but has garnered little attention. Previously labeled as existential courage, hardiness is a pattern of attitudes and strategies that together facilitate turning stressful circumstances from potential disasters into growth opportunities. Hardiness functions as a resistance resource in buffering the effects of stressful events and, thus, contributes toward resilience. The 3 Cs of hardiness that help hardy individuals cope better with stress are as follows (Kobasa et al., 1982): Commitment: Commitment is the belief that no matter how bad things get, you will stay involved with whatever is happening, rather than sinking into detachment, passivity, or avoidance. Commitment helps you have a generalized sense of

Guilt Trip: How to Recognize and Deal with It

The Guilt Trip Script We have all been subjected to guilt trips by our parents, children, teachers, friends, or other loved ones. In a guilt trip, people close to you may use guilt to manipulate you into doing things they want you to do. The usual script for this is, “If you don’t do X, then I or some else important to you will feel Y,” where “X” is what the guilt-inducer is trying to get you to do, and “Y” are the bad consequences of you not doing those things. For example, “If you don’t call me every day, then I would feel that you don’t care about me.” Other ways by which people induce guilt include the following (Dyer, 1995): Taking a victim’s position – “I am the one who suffered in this relationship and now you do this to me.” Evoking guilt by highlighting one’s illness – “Never mind my bad back, I can do this.” Comparing to others – “John’s father lets him do this. You don’t love me anymore because if you did, you would never treat me like this.” Comparing to ideal goals – “An I

Optimism: What is it and When Not to Use it

What is optimism? We live in a society that obsesses about positivity and the pop culture continues to push optimism as a tool to seek happiness. Avoiding jargon and using common-sense terms, optimism is looking at the bright side, seeing the glass as half-full rather than half-empty, finding the silver lining in a cloud, feeling good about your future and the future of the world, believing that defeat is a temporary setback and not your fault, and confronting a difficult situation and trying harder (Lyubomirsky, 2007; Seligman, 2006). From a psychological perspective, optimism has two key components (Segerstrom, 2006): A thinking bias toward focusing on and recalling positive experiences in your life. A tendency to view your goals as achievable and worthwhile. An important lesson here is that being optimistic, however, doesn’t mean that you deny the negative or avoid all unfavorable information or that you constantly try to control situations that cannot be controlled.  Benefits of op

Are You Flourishing?

Mental health and mental illness are not the opposite ends of a continuum, i.e., if you are not depressed, it does not necessarily mean that you are mentally healthy. If mental health is considered as a separate concept than mental illness, then barely one fifth of the U.S. adult population without mental illness would be considered mentally healthy or flourishing (Keyes, 2007). So, what is flourishing? Psychologist Corey Keyes argues that flourishing is a state of complete mental health in which individuals harbor positive emotions and are functioning well both psychologically and socially. The opposite of flourishing is languishing, which is a state of incomplete mental health wherein individuals have lower levels of psychological and social well-being and describe their lives as “hollow,” “empty,” “stagnant,” or “a void” (Keyes, 2002). The three key dimensions of flourishing – emotional, psychological, and social well-being – are described below (Keyes, 2007; Ryff, 1989). A. Posi

Values: The Compass that Guides your Life's Journey

  Put simply, values are our heart’s deepest desires for the way we want to interact with the world, other people, and ourselves. They are what we want to stand for in life, how we want to behave, what sort of person we want to be, and what sort of strengths and qualities we want to develop (Harris, 2009). Values are subjective; what one may consider as a value (e.g., being famous) may be considered as being cocky by another person. Compared to thoughts and behaviors, values provide a far more stable compass to motivate you to achieve your goals, even when faced with personal adversity (Hayes et al., 2012). An exercise that may help you clarify your values and find meaning in life is to imagine that you are eighty years old, and you are looking back on your life. Then finish the following sentences (Harris, 2008): I spent too much time worrying about… I spent too little time doing things such as… If I could go back in time, then what I would do differently from today onwards is… This e

Chronic Boredom? Yes... It's a Thing!

What is boredom? Boredom is an everyday experience. You feel this while waiting in traffic or watching something on television or twiddling on your phone or surfing the internet. Of all the psychological phenomena known to mankind, boredom perhaps has the least consensus on what really defines this experience (Eastwood et al., 2012). One view of boredom is that it is a state of longing for activity but at the same time being unaware of what is that one desires. The existential school of thought regards boredom as an unpleasant experience of inaction, emptiness, paralysis of will, and a sense of meaninglessness. Another take on boredom is that it results from the mismatch between one’s need for arousal and the availability of environmental stimulation. Finally, the cognitive model of boredom emphasizes that a bored individual perceives the environment as lacking opportunities for satisfying activity and themselves suffers from an impaired ability to concentrate. The common thread betwee