Values: The Compass that Guides your Life's Journey

 

Put simply, values are our heart’s deepest desires for the way we want to interact with the world, other people, and ourselves. They are what we want to stand for in life, how we want to behave, what sort of person we want to be, and what sort of strengths and qualities we want to develop (Harris, 2009). Values are subjective; what one may consider as a value (e.g., being famous) may be considered as being cocky by another person. Compared to thoughts and behaviors, values provide a far more stable compass to motivate you to achieve your goals, even when faced with personal adversity (Hayes et al., 2012). An exercise that may help you clarify your values and find meaning in life is to imagine that you are eighty years old, and you are looking back on your life. Then finish the following sentences (Harris, 2008):

• I spent too much time worrying about…
• I spent too little time doing things such as…
• If I could go back in time, then what I would do differently from today onwards is…

This exercise will give you an insight into your values – what really matters in your life. Also, this exercise helps you reconsider the importance of minor goals in your daily life that you may be taking for granted. Another variant of the above exercise is to imagine that you can write anything on your tombstone that says what you stood for in your life. What would you like your tombstone to say, if it could be absolutely anything? Value-focused exercises also make you aware of the discrepancies between what you are pursuing in your life at present and what you really want your life to stand for. This discrepancy generates the drive and motivation to pursue goals that are more in line with your values. Research suggests that goals that are self-concordant, i.e., representing one’s values, lead to the largest degree of enhanced well-being (Sheldon & Elliot, 1999).

To help you with this exercise, the 10 most common categories of values that people hold on are listed below (Schwartz, 1994).

1. Power: Social status and prestige, control or dominance over people and resources. Examples include social power, authority, and wealth.
2. Achievement: Personal success through demonstrating competence according to social standards. Examples include successful, capable, and ambitious.
3. Hedonism: Pleasure and sensuous gratification for oneself. Examples include pleasure and enjoying life.
4. Stimulation: Excitement, novelty, and challenge in life. Examples include daring, varied life, and exciting life.
5. Universalism: Understanding, appreciation, tolerance, and protection for the welfare of all people and for nature. Examples include broad-mindedness, social justice, equality, and protecting the environment.
6. Self-direction: Independent thought and action – choosing, creating, exploring. Examples include creativity, curiosity, and freedom.
7. Benevolence: Preservation and enhancement of the welfare of people with whom one is in frequent personal contact. Examples include helpfulness, honesty, and forgiving.
8. Tradition: Respect, commitment, and acceptance of the customs and ideas that traditional culture or religion provide. Examples include humbleness and spirituality.
9. Conformity: Restraint of actions, inclinations, and impulses likely to upset or harm others and violate social expectations or norms. Examples include politeness, obedience, and honoring parents and elders.
10. Security: Safety, harmony, and stability of society, of relationships, and of self. Examples include national security and social order.

It is important to note that these categories of values are not mutually exclusive and that value in one category doesn’t need to be compromised for a value in another realm to flourish. For example, you can be a “caring parent” and also a “dedicated employee” at the same time; there is no inherent conflict between these values. Once you have reviewed these 10 categories of values, pick one value that is most important to you and answer the following questions related to that value (Tarragona, 2015):

• “Why did I choose this value?”
• “To what extent would I say it guides my decisions and the way I lead my life?”
• “Can I think of a recent choice I made that was influenced by this value? How so?”
• “How did I learn or acquire this value?” Who was influential in my adoption of it?”
• “What effects has upholding this value had on my life?”
• “Are these positive or negative for me?”
• “Is this value connected with one of my strengths? If yes, how?”

You may repeat this exercise with other values that are important to you. It may also be helpful to distinguish values from goals. Values are the compass that keep you on track on your journey while goals are the things you strive to achieve or complete on that journey.

To learn more about evidence-based self-management techniques that promote mental health and well-being, check out Dr. Duggal's Author Page.

HARPREET S. DUGGAL, MD, FAPA

REFERENCES

Harris, R. (2008). The happiness trap. Boston, MA: Trumpeter Books.

Harris, R. (2009). ACT made simple. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change. (2nd ed.). New York, NY: The Guildford Press.

Schwartz, S. H. (1994). Are there universal aspects in the structure and contents of human values? Journal of Social Issues, 50(4), 19-45.

Sheldon, K. M., & Elliot, A. (1999). Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: the self-concordance model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76(3), 482-497.

Tarragona, M. (2015). Positive identities: Narrative practices and positive psychology. San Bernardino, CA: Positive Acorn.