Self-Management of Depression

What are Hot Buttons? We hear a lot about the importance of emotional intelligence in personal and work life. However, tangible and easy-to-use strategies to cultivate emotional intelligence without psychobabble are hard to find. One simple strategy to increase awareness of your and others’ emotions, a key component of emotional intelligence, is identifying your hot buttons (Lynn, 2007). This technique is useful in gauging your reactions during an emotionally charged or high-stress situation and makes you aware that there may be other ways of reacting to a situation rather than the usual fight-or-flight response. Hot buttons are events, words, phrases, situations, or a combination of these things that set off an immediate and intense negative emotion in you. People may not be intentionally trying to push these buttons, but your defensive reaction may drive them away. Thus, recognizing these hot buttons and not letting yourself give into these will help you maintain healthy interperson...

Conflicts and arguments are an inevitable part of any relationship. However, there are strategies that will help you either avoid conflicts or handle them more constructively. The article discusses three such techniques.  1. Don’t do the “ABCDE” behaviors during communication The acronym “ABCDE” refers to certain types of communication behaviors that increase conflict in a relationship and include the following (Duggal, 2016): Accusation: Accusations usually are “You always …” or “You never…” statements. Accusations may have some kernel of truth in them, but that gets exaggerated and dramatized by the heat of the argument. Accusations lead to counteraccusations and defensiveness, and take the focus away from one’s own shortcomings and from resolving the conflict at hand. Blame: Individuals may blame their partner’s actions for a problem or blame their mental illness, moral weakness, or personal inadequacies for the problems the couple is facing. For example, “If you had taken tho...

Emotional intelligence has become a modern-day buzzword. Academics, self-help coaches, and management pundits have written millions of words and filled hours of airtime explaining the meaning and importance of emotional intelligence. But when it comes to enhancing this trait, one is left with the arduous task of sifting through a mountain of psychobabble to tease out pragmatic, easy-to-use, and workable strategies.  So, what is emotional intelligence? In psychological terms, it is one’s ability to engage in sophisticated information processing about one’s own and others’ emotions and the ability to use this information as a guide to thinking and behavior (Mayer et al., 2008). In plain English, it means using your emotions intentionally and intelligently to improve your well-being. Emotional intelligence increases with age and experience. Research shows that people with high emotional intelligence are likely to be more socially competent, have better quality relationships, and are v...

The acronym “ABCDE” refers to certain types of communication behaviors that increase conflict and marital/intimate relationship distress. These behaviors get heightened when one is depressed, as depression rekindles negative, irrational thought patterns such as all-or-none thinking, overgeneralization, jumping to conclusions, blowing things out of proportion, taking things personally, disqualifying positives, and negatively labeling oneself or others. Here's what you need to avoid during communication with your partner (Beach et al., 1998; Christensen et al., 2014; Starr & Davila, 2008): A ccusation:  Accusations usually are “You always …” or “You never…” statements. Accusations may have some kernel of truth in them, but that gets exaggerated and dramatized by the heat of the argument. Accusations lead to counteraccusations and defensiveness, taking the focus away from one’s own shortcomings and from resolving the conflict at hand. B lame:  Individuals may b...

If you are human, you will be on the receiving end of criticism. Criticism can be helpful, especially if it provides you feedback for improvement whereas at other times it is tantamount to bullying. Therefore, criticism needs to be handled depending on its type (Lazarus & Lazarus, 2000). 1. Irrelevant criticism: This kind of criticism comes from an individual who is critical of everyone or everything to the extent that they would make critical comments about something that is totally out of context and not relevant to the situation. For example, you are talking to your neighbor about an upcoming vacation you are planning and in the midst of your conversation, your neighbor states “….by the way you appear to be gaining weight.” Irrelevant criticism doesn’t deserve your response and is best ignored. Say, “OK, I appreciate you letting me know” and shift back to the conversation on hand. 2. Vague criticism: In this type of criticism, you are not sure if the person critici...