Self-Management of Depression

If you have felt the urge to offer someone an opinion or solution even when one is not solicited, you have been giving in to what is called the righting reflex—the desire to fix what seems wrong with people and to set them promptly on a better course (Miller & Rollnick, 2013). Though natural and well-intentioned, this urge to fix someone else's problems can significantly damage interpersonal relationships by causing resistance, defensiveness, and resentment. It often hinders effective communication and prevents the other person from finding their own solutions. How the righting reflex negatively affects relationships Creates resistance and defensiveness: When you jump in to fix a problem, the other person can feel like you are criticizing their judgment or ability to handle their own issues. This can lead them to argue against your suggestions or defend their current choices, creating an unproductive conflict. Shifts the dynamic to a parent-child relationship: This behavior po...

Change is not easy, especially when trying to break bad habits or desiring to keep the good ones going beyond a few days. Most people blame this on lack of motivation. Researchers have written at length about types of motivation such as intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, but most of these discourses fall short of realistic ways to enhance motivation. In this context,  DARN offers a simple yet practical tool to increase one's motivation to change.  DARN  is an acronym which stands for: Desire , Ability , Reasons , and Need . These represent four types of self-talk that people contemplating change engage in (Miller & Rollnick, 2013). Use this approach to ask yourself evocative questions that tap into your intrinsic motivation.  Desire:   Desire is wanting to have something or wanting a change. Examples include, “I want to exercise more” or “I would like to eat healthy.” Ask yourself the following questions to elicit your desire to change. What am I h...