Self-Management of Depression

Though sounding simple, learning to accept and change are powerful strategies that keep relationships intact. “Accepting” your partner means that you are tolerating your partner’s unpleasant or offensive behavior while at the same time trying to understand the deeper meaning of that behavior and putting it in the larger context of your relationship with your partner (Christensen et al., 2014). For example, an individual may become more accepting of their partner’s introverted nature or tendency to criticize. Do not confuse acceptance with submission. Submission is enduring offensive behavior from a position of weakness as one has no alternative. In contrast, acceptance is tolerating offensive behavior from a position of strength as you choose to do so while seeing the offensive behavior in the larger context of your relationship with your partner. Acceptance also doesn’t mean one cannot assertively differ from one's partner, resist one's aversive behavior, or try to limit it....

Clarifying one’s values and having value-based actions is one of the core tenets of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), an evidence-based treatment for depression. Values are our heart’s deepest desires for the way we want to interact with the world, other people, and ourselves. They are what we want to stand for in life, how we want to behave, what sort of person we want to be, and what sort of strengths and qualities we want to develop (Harris, 2009). Values are subjective; what one may consider as a value (e.g., being famous) may be considered as being cocky by another person. Compared to thoughts and behaviors, values provide a far more stable compass to motivate you to achieve your goals, even when faced with personal adversity (Hayes et al., 2012). An exercise that may help you clarify your values and find meaning in life is to imagine that you are eighty years old, and you are looking back on your life. Then finish the following sentences (Harris, 2008): I spent too much ti...

Rumination is a maladaptive style of responding to stressful situations in which a person repetitively and passively focuses on the symptoms of distress and the possible causes and consequences of these symptoms. Ruminators mistakenly believe that by focusing on their past feelings, they can somehow better understand their emotions, and this will help them solve their problems. The opposite is true: rumination makes people more fixated on their problems and feelings without leading to any active problem-solving to change the circumstances around these symptoms. Research shows that women are more likely to engage in rumination compared to men, which also makes them more prone to depression (Nolen-Hoeksema et al., 2008). Rumination fosters inactivity and can come in the way of getting things done. Many people confuse rumination with worry, but these two entities differ in the following ways (Lyubomirsky et al., 2015): Rumination focuses on the past, while worry focuses on the futur...

What is Reminiscence? According to the Oxford Dictionary, to reminiscence is to “indulge in the enjoyable recollection of past events.” Interestingly, embedded in the definition of reminiscence is the positive emotion of joy. Reminiscing is more than just flipping through an old photograph album; it also involves reflection and reconstructing your memories. It is a process of discovering and re-discovering who you are today by making linkages between disparate aspects of your life, your families, and your communities (Gibson, 2011). You can reminiscence in various forms – mental image, speech, writing, poetry, drawing, painting, drama, mime, music, dance, or some other medium of communication. Literature on reminiscence identifies two types of positive reminiscence that lead to well-being and decrease in depressive symptoms (Watt & Cappeliez, 2000; Wong & Watt, 1991): 1. Integrative reminiscence: This involves accepting one’s past as worthwhile, reconciling the discrepancy...

Although we have all heard the medical profession touting the health benefits of physical activity and exercise, most of us don’t regularly engage in this inexpensive health-promoting behavior. In addition to preventing chronic medical conditions, growing evidence demonstrates that physical activity and exercise improve mental well-being and have a buffering effect on depression. A review of the literature showed that a higher level of baseline physical activity was associated with decreased risk of developing depression in the future (Mammen & Faulkner, 2013). Even low levels of physical activity, such as walking less than 150 minutes per week, can prevent future depression. Another study demonstrated that individuals who engaged in physical activity for more than 30 minutes a day had a 48% lower risk of being depressed at follow-up compared to individuals who didn’t engage in physical activity (van Gool et al., 2006). Interestingly, the same study also showed that each minute of ...

Popular social media posts and self-help books extol the benefits of correctly naming our emotions, reproducing a lengthy menu of emotional labels to choose from. This is a good exercise in cultivating emotional intelligence through self-awareness. In this context, expressive writing is a simple and proven tool that expands on this facet of self-awareness to use writing as a tool to regulate emotions. Expressive writing involves engaging in deep and meaningful writing about a stressful life event or trauma (Pennebaker & Seagal, 1999). It is hypothesized that the act of converting emotions and images into words changes the way a person thinks and organizes about a stressful situation. By integrating thoughts and feelings related to the stress or trauma, an individual then can develop a more coherent narrative of the experience.  The instructions for expressive writing are as under (Gortner et al., 2006):      “For the next 3 days, write about your very deepest tho...

              Popular self-help books try to convince you that you can improve your self-worth in 10 days. It's not that simple. Let's get to the definition of self-worth first. The American Psychological Association's Dictionary of Psychology defines self-worth as an "individual’s evaluation of himself or herself as a valuable, capable human being deserving of respect and consideration." The more positive feelings of self-worth an individual has, the higher their self-esteem is, while persistent low self-worth can be a symptom of depression. As can be gleaned, the definition of self-worth is highly subjective, and it is not uncommon for people to harbor faulty notions about their self-worth. Your thinking may get skewed into believing that your self-worth is restricted to your performance in certain areas of life that are of special personal importance to you, such as work, family life, or intellectual pursuits. You then mistakenly start defining...

Too often we come across quotes in social media on the lines, "The older I get, the less I care about..." or the "The older I get, the more I appreciate..." Do we have to really wait for our golden years to find meaning in life? The answer is a resounding no. Since the dawn of time, poets, philosophers, theologists, and scientists have tried to make sense of the concept of meaning in life. As much as meaning in life is viewed as an amorphous psychological concept, there are tangible ways to explore one's meaning in life. Here's where values come into the picture. Value-focused exercises give you an insight into what really matters in your life.  These exercises also make you aware of the discrepancies between what you are pursuing in your life at present and what you really want your life to stand for. This discrepancy generates the drive and motivation to pursue goals that are more in line with your values. Also, these exercises help you reconsider the imp...

What is Hardiness? A lot has been talked about resilience in popular media and, regrettably, most of these discussions don't go beyond the oft-repeated wellness strategies. In this context, hardiness is a psychological construct that contributes to resilience but has received little attention. Previously labeled as existential courage, hardiness is a pattern of attitudes and strategies that together facilitate turning stressful circumstances from potential disasters into growth opportunities. Hardiness functions as a resistance resource in buffering the effects of stressful events and thus contributes to resilience. The 3 Cs of hardiness that help hardy individuals cope better with stress are as follows (Kobasa et al., 1982): Commitment: Commitment is the belief that no matter how bad things get, you will stay involved with whatever is happening, rather than sinking into detachment, passivity, or avoidance. Commitment helps you have a generalized sense of purpose that allows you t...

The Guilt Trip Script We have all been subjected to guilt trips by our parents, children, teachers, friends, or other loved ones. In a guilt trip, people close to you may use guilt to manipulate you into doing things they want you to do. The usual script for this is, “If you don’t do X, then I or someone else important to you will feel Y,” where “X” is what the guilt-inducer is trying to get you to do, and “Y” are the bad consequences of you not doing those things. For example, “If you don’t call me every day, then I would feel that you don’t care about me.” Other ways by which people induce guilt include the following (Dyer, 1995): Taking a victim’s position – “I am the one who suffered in this relationship, and now you do this to me.” Evoking guilt by highlighting one’s illness – “Never mind my bad back, I can do this.” Comparing to others – “John’s father lets him do this. You don’t love me anymore because if you did, you would never treat me like this.” Comparing to ideal goals – “...

What is optimism? We live in a society that obsesses over positivity, and pop culture continues to push optimism as a tool for seeking happiness. Avoiding jargon and using common-sense terms, optimism is looking at the bright side, seeing the glass as half-full rather than half-empty, finding the silver lining in a cloud, feeling good about your future and the future of the world, believing that defeat is a temporary setback and not your fault, and confronting a difficult situation and trying harder (Lyubomirsky, 2007; Seligman, 2006). From a psychological perspective, optimism has two key components (Segerstrom, 2006): A thinking bias toward focusing on and recalling positive experiences in your life. A tendency to view your goals as achievable and worthwhile. An important lesson here is that being optimistic doesn’t mean denying the negative, avoiding all unfavorable information, or constantly trying to control situations that cannot be controlled.  Benefits of optimism Besides p...

What is boredom? Boredom is an everyday experience. You feel this while waiting in traffic, watching TV, twiddling on your phone, or surfing the internet. Of all the psychological phenomena known to mankind, boredom perhaps has the least consensus on what really defines this experience (Eastwood et al., 2012). One view of boredom is that it is a state of longing for activity, but at the same time, being unaware of what it is that one desires. The existential school of thought views boredom as an unpleasant experience characterized by inaction, emptiness, paralysis of will, and a sense of meaninglessness. Another take on boredom is that it results from the mismatch between one’s need for arousal and the availability of environmental stimulation. Finally, the cognitive model of boredom emphasizes that a bored individual perceives the environment as lacking opportunities for satisfying activity and themselves suffers from an impaired ability to concentrate. The common thread between all t...

On an average, most people spend more than 90% of their lives indoors (Woodcock & Custovic, 1998). Contemporary urban lifestyles along with increased time spend on screens has also led to people spending less time outdoors and disconnecting with nature. This detachment from nature takes a toll on an individual's mental health as research has shown that nature exposure has a positive influence on psychological well-being (Bratman et al., 2019). Some of these benefits include an increase in positive emotions, happiness and subjective well-being, positive social interaction, a sense of meaning and purpose in life, and a decrease in risk factors for mental illness, especially depression. In addition, a review of studies on nature-based outdoor activities showed that these interventions improve depressive mood and reduce anxiety (Coventry et al., 2021). Noticing nature is a proven nature-based well-being intervention. In this practice, you pay attention to the feelings evoked by nat...

One of life's undeniable truths is that you will face failures. How one deals with these failures depends, among other factors, on one's compassion toward oneself and one's mindset toward adapting to failure. In this context, self-compassion and a growth mindset help you overcome your harsh inner critic, especially when failures lead you to judge yourself harshly, feel ashamed, or blame yourself. This article discusses how to use these tools in these situations.   Self-Compassion Put simply, self-compassion is compassion turned inwards, i.e., how you relate to yourself in instances of perceived failure, inadequacy, or personal suffering. The three components of the compassionate frame of mind are self-kindness, a sense of common humanity, and mindfulness (Neff, 2011). Let’s consider the following situation to illustrate how you can use three components to deal with an adversity that makes you critical of yourself. You couldn’t meet a deadline at work despite your best effor...