Too often we come across quotes in social media on the lines, "The older I get, the less I care about..." or the "The older I get, the more I appreciate..." Do we have to really wait for our golden years to find meaning in life? The answer is a resounding no. Since the dawn of time, poets, philosophers, theologists, and scientists have tried to make sense of the concept of meaning in life. As much as meaning in life is viewed as an amorphous psychological concept, there are tangible ways to explore one's meaning in life. Here's where values come into the picture. Value-focused exercises give you an insight into what really matters in your life. These exercises also make you aware of the discrepancies between what you are pursuing in your life at present and what you really want your life to stand for. This discrepancy generates the drive and motivation to pursue goals that are more in line with your values. Also, these exercises help you reconsider the importance of minor goals in your daily life that you may be taking for granted. Research suggests that goals that are self-concordant, i.e., representing one’s values, lead to the largest degree of enhanced well-being (Sheldon & Elliot, 1999).
Here are 4 value-focused exercises that will help you be in touch with your core values.
"Take a few deep breaths, relax, and close your eyes. Imagine that through some twist of fate you have died, but you are able to attend your funeral in spirit. You are watching and listening to the eulogies offered by your spouse, children, and friends. Try to be present in the situation emotionally. Now visualize what you would like these people who were part of your life to remember you for. What would you like your spouse to say about you as a partner? What would you like your children to say about you as a parent? What would you like your friends to say about you as a friend? Make a mental note of the things these people say."
2. Tombstone epitaph: Another variant of the above exercise is to imagine that you can write anything on your tombstone that says what you stood for in your life. What would you like your tombstone to say, if it could be absolutely anything?
3. Finish the sentence: If you more comfortable writing about your experiences and emotions, this exercise may be useful to clarify your values.
"Imagine that you are eighty years old, and you are looking back on your life. Then finish the following sentences" (Harris, 2008).
- I spent too much time worrying about…
- I spent too little time doing things such as…
- If I could go back in time, then what I would do differently from today onwards is…
- “What do I care most about in life?”
- “What matters most to me?
- “How do I hope my life will be different a few years from now?”
- “What are the rules I live by?”
- “If I were to write a mission statement for my life, describing my goals or purpose in life, what would I write?”
- “If I were to ask my closest friends to tell me what would I live for, what matters most to me, what do I think they would say?”
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