Self-Management of Depression

Have you ever felt like a fraud in your own success story, despite your achievements screaming otherwise? Welcome to the world of impostor syndrome, where even the most accomplished individuals second-guess their abilities and fear being exposed as a ‘fake.’ Emerging from the shadows of self-doubt, this phenomenon affects both men and women and is often rooted in early family dynamics and personal perceptions of worth. But it doesn't have to define your journey. Here, we explore seven strategies that can help you break free from the grip of impostor syndrome and embrace your true capabilities.  1. Name your inner critic: The voice of impostor syndrome is your inner critic, sowing the seeds of self-doubt. This inner critic, like a broken record, irrationally makes you underestimate your capabilities. Although it may seem to be arguing in your best interest, it thrives on fear-based, unrealistic thinking. Label your thoughts or feelings sparked by your inner critic as they occur. Be ...

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most proven psychotherapies for depression and anxiety. It involves identifying, challenging, and replacing irrational thought patterns, also called cognitive distortions, with rational thoughts. However, not everyone is successful in doing so. A key reason for this is when one harbors deeper irrational thoughts, called core beliefs, which are harder to change as they sit at a subconscious level.   While identifying your superficial irrational negative thoughts, also called automatic thoughts, as a part of CBT, you may realize that some of these thoughts can be lumped under common themes. These underlying thinking patterns are called core beliefs or schemas. Whereas automatic thoughts are at the surface of your awareness and more straightforward to recognize, core beliefs are not that readily accessed or easily articulated. Core beliefs or schemas represent a set of attitudes, assumptions, conceptions, preferences, goals, and va...

Imagine you are invited to a friend’s house and, upon entering, you see a group of people laughing loudly. You can react to this situation in a couple of ways. You might think something is wrong with your appearance, making you feel that people are laughing at you. Alternatively, you might interpret their laughter as a sign that they are having a good time, and you feel ready to join in the fun. This situation can evoke two responses: one makes you feel embarrassed, while the other makes you happy. So, what causes people to experience various emotions in the same situation? It’s all about how you interpret the scenario. Your beliefs influence your interpretation, which is the “B” in the “ABC” framework we will explore next. Albert Ellis (1962), the founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), introduced the “ABC” framework as a cognitive model for depression. “A” represents an activating event to which an individual responds. This can include current or past events, thoughts, f...

Procrastination is putting off tasks for another day or doing unproductive things as an excuse for not doing what is essential. While some procrastinate in certain situations, it becomes a habit for others. They leave dishes in the sink, don’t respond to e-mails, don’t pay bills, put off completing paperwork, finish assignments just before the deadline, or ask for extensions. In the latter group, procrastination becomes a form of avoidance. Psychologists consider avoidance as a maladaptive coping style that relieves one from the mental and/or physical effort of doing a task, reinforcing this behavior. Procrastination can be driven by irrational thought patterns, and sometimes, these are associated with depression and anxiety. The common irrational thoughts that foster procrastination include: “Nothing works.” “This is boring.” “I don’t know where to start.” “I can’t do this.” “This is too hard.” "I am not cut out for this." “I don’t have the time to do this.” “I don’t have th...

              Popular self-help books try to convince you that you can improve your self-worth in 10 days. It's not that simple. Let's get to the definition of self-worth first. The American Psychological Association's Dictionary of Psychology defines self-worth as an "individual’s evaluation of himself or herself as a valuable, capable human being deserving of respect and consideration." The more positive feelings of self-worth an individual has, the higher their self-esteem is, while persistent low self-worth can be a symptom of depression. As can be gleaned, the definition of self-worth is highly subjective, and it is not uncommon for people to harbor faulty notions about their self-worth. Your thinking may get skewed into believing that your self-worth is restricted to your performance in certain areas of life that are of special personal importance to you, such as work, family life, or intellectual pursuits. You then mistakenly start defining...

The Guilt Trip Script We have all been subjected to guilt trips by our parents, children, teachers, friends, or other loved ones. In a guilt trip, people close to you may use guilt to manipulate you into doing things they want you to do. The usual script for this is, “If you don’t do X, then I or someone else important to you will feel Y,” where “X” is what the guilt-inducer is trying to get you to do, and “Y” are the bad consequences of you not doing those things. For example, “If you don’t call me every day, then I would feel that you don’t care about me.” Other ways by which people induce guilt include the following (Dyer, 1995): Taking a victim’s position – “I am the one who suffered in this relationship, and now you do this to me.” Evoking guilt by highlighting one’s illness – “Never mind my bad back, I can do this.” Comparing to others – “John’s father lets him do this. You don’t love me anymore because if you did, you would never treat me like this.” Comparing to ideal goals – “...

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), every 40 seconds a person dies by suicide somewhere in the world and over 800,000 people die due to suicide every year. When it comes to therapeutic approaches that have shown to reduce suicide attempts, there are only a handful of evidence-based treatments. One of these treatments is cognitive-behavioral therapy (Brown & Jager-Hyman, 2014). A safety plan is a key element of the cognitive-behavioral approaches that has been widely and effectively used for preventing suicide. In a nutshell, a safety plan is a document that is developed though collaboration between the person at risk of suicide and a treatment provider and consists of a prioritized written list of coping strategies and supportive resources that a suicidal person can use before or during a suicidal crisis (Stanley & Brown, 2008). A study comparing Safety Planning Intervention with usual care found a 45% reduction in suicidal behaviors and the double the odds...

Perfectionism and Depression If your thoughts are, “I have to do it right,” “I have to do it all,” “I cannot fail,” “I have to keep up with others,” “Is this good enough?” or “I need to be in control,” then you are letting perfectionism dictate your life. As a perfectionist, you hold yourself to high standards because of irrational thoughts. These irrational thought patterns include all-or-none thinking and “should” and “must” statements. If you don’t meet your perfectionist standards, you start to feel worthless, which then fuels more depressive thinking. Perfectionists often seek pleasure by focusing on the results of their activities rather than enjoying the process. This then prevents them from savoring the simple pleasures of everyday life. In fact, perfectionism increases one’s vulnerability to depression, possibly because of a lack of self-compassion (Ferrari et al., 2018). In other words, perfectionist individuals are more likely to judge themselves harshly and criticize ...

Procrastination is putting off things for another day or doing things that are not productive as an excuse for not doing what is important.  Dr. Wayne Dyer (1995) ,  in his book  Your Erroneous Zones , provides the rationale behind procrastination as a thought process, which is something like this: “I know I must do that, but I am really afraid that I might not do it well, or I won’t like it.  So, I will tell myself that I will do it in the future, then I don’t have to admit to myself that I am not going to do it. And it is easier to accept myself this way.” This temporary avoidance gives you quick relief from the anxiety associated with a task, which then reinforces this behavior. We all have procrastinated at one time or another. Still, in depression, procrastination becomes more complex due to the self-defeating attitudes of perfectionism (“I can do things only if I can do them perfectly”), hopelessness (“My low motivation and low energy levels are never going ...

If you are human, you will be on the receiving end of criticism. Criticism can be helpful, especially if it provides you feedback for improvement whereas at other times it is tantamount to bullying. Therefore, criticism needs to be handled depending on its type (Lazarus & Lazarus, 2000). 1. Irrelevant criticism: This kind of criticism comes from an individual who is critical of everyone or everything to the extent that they would make critical comments about something that is totally out of context and not relevant to the situation. For example, you are talking to your neighbor about an upcoming vacation you are planning and in the midst of your conversation, your neighbor states “….by the way you appear to be gaining weight.” Irrelevant criticism doesn’t deserve your response and is best ignored. Say, “OK, I appreciate you letting me know” and shift back to the conversation on hand. 2. Vague criticism: In this type of criticism, you are not sure if the person critici...

We live in a society where it is impossible to escape comparisons. Growing up, your parents probably compared you with other siblings and in school you compared yourself with other students. As an adult, you continue to compare yourself with your peers at work, your neighbors, your friends and relatives, and people you come across on social network sites or other media outlets. There are two kinds of social comparisons (Taylor & Lobel, 1989): 1. Upward social comparison: You compare yourself with others whose performance and abilities are better than yours. 2. Downward social comparison: You compare yourself with others who are less fortunate than you are in the attributes you are comparing. People compare themselves to others when they need an external standard against which to judge their abilities or opinions (Festinger, 1954). Comparison helps you manage your negative mood, especially with downward comparison, which makes you feel better realizing that there are people who...

People with depression often have negative or irrational beliefs, which continue to fuel their depressive thinking. According to the cognitive model of depression, the emotions in depression such as sadness, guilt, hopelessness, worthlessness, helplessness, anger, frustration, and anxiety are triggered by a dysfunctional thought process. This dysfunction involves misinterpretation or misattribution of situations, past events, memories, and even feelings leading to irrational thoughts – also called cognitive distortions – that in turn perpetuate depressive symptoms. These irrational thought patterns are described below: 1. All-or-None Thinking: This type of irrational thinking is also called black-and-white thinking or dichotomous thinking. This is thinking in extremes or absolutes with no consideration for any alternatives in between the extremes. For example, if you get a below-average performance evaluation and feel that you will never get a good performance evaluation in th...