Self-Management of Depression

Though sounding simple, learning to accept and change are powerful strategies that keep relationships intact. “Accepting” your partner means that you are tolerating your partner’s unpleasant or offensive behavior while at the same time trying to understand the deeper meaning of that behavior and putting it in the larger context of your relationship with your partner (Christensen et al., 2014). For example, an individual may become more accepting of their partner’s introverted nature or tendency to criticize. Do not confuse acceptance with submission. Submission is enduring offensive behavior from a position of weakness as one has no alternative. In contrast, acceptance is tolerating offensive behavior from a position of strength as you choose to do so while seeing the offensive behavior in the larger context of your relationship with your partner. Acceptance also doesn’t mean one cannot assertively differ from one's partner, resist one's aversive behavior, or try to limit it....

Achieving goals feels good – it is inherently satisfying to exercise your skills, talents, and abilities to achieve what you desire in your life (Emmons, 1996). In addition, achieving goals that are consistent with your interests and core values, i.e., meaningful goals, enhances feelings of well-being and also satisfies your basic psychological needs of experiencing competence, autonomy, and relatedness (Sheldon & Elliot, 1999). Goal attainment also enhances well-being by positively influencing other facets of your life as described below (Sheldon et al., 2002): Changes in your self-concept (e.g., you view yourself and your capabilities in a totally new way) Changes in life circumstances (e.g., you gain valuable new opportunities or a new intimate relationship) Changes in basic attitudes or philosophies regarding living, which may transform your general mood and well-being Approval from others that enhances your global assessment of yourself So, how does one choose mean...

Change is not easy, especially when trying to break bad habits or desiring to keep the good ones going beyond a few days. Most people blame this on lack of motivation. Researchers have written at length about types of motivation such as intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, but most of these discourses fall short of realistic ways to enhance motivation. In this context,  DARN offers a simple yet practical tool to increase one's motivation to change.  DARN  is an acronym which stands for: Desire , Ability , Reasons , and Need . These represent four types of self-talk that people contemplating change engage in (Miller & Rollnick, 2013). Use this approach to ask yourself evocative questions that tap into your intrinsic motivation.  Desire:   Desire is wanting to have something or wanting a change. Examples include, “I want to exercise more” or “I would like to eat healthy.” Ask yourself the following questions to elicit your desire to change. What am I h...