Self-Management of Depression

The Guilt Trip Script We have all been subjected to guilt trips by our parents, children, teachers, friends, or other loved ones. In a guilt trip, people close to you may use guilt to manipulate you into doing things they want you to do. The usual script for this is, “If you don’t do X, then I or someone else important to you will feel Y,” where “X” is what the guilt-inducer is trying to get you to do, and “Y” are the bad consequences of you not doing those things. For example, “If you don’t call me every day, then I would feel that you don’t care about me.” Other ways by which people induce guilt include the following (Dyer, 1995): Taking a victim’s position – “I am the one who suffered in this relationship, and now you do this to me.” Evoking guilt by highlighting one’s illness – “Never mind my bad back, I can do this.” Comparing to others – “John’s father lets him do this. You don’t love me anymore because if you did, you would never treat me like this.” Comparing to ideal goals – “...

Humor has been used both as a coping strategy and a therapeutic tool for a long time for reducing anxiety, depression, anger, and pain (Weisenberg et al., 1995). The field of positive psychology has recently brought humor to the forefront as a psychotherapy intervention, especially for depression and anxiety (Sarink & Garcia-Montes, 2023). Of the various types of humor, the one most associated with well-being is self-enhancing humor. This involves a generally humorous outlook on life, a tendency to be frequently amused by life's incongruities, and a humorous perspective even in the face of stress (Martin et al., 2003). Self-enhancing humor is associated with greater cheerfulness, self-esteem, optimism, psychological well-being, and satisfaction. People with depression may be less reactive to humor due to a diminution in their sense of humor, and they also tend to use humor less often as a coping strategy (Falkenberg et al., 2011). In addition, individuals with depression m...

After a person has enough income to meet basic needs of food, clothing, shelter, and security, how one spends money has been a topic of interest for social psychologists trying to understand spending patterns that promote happiness. The research in this field boils down to three key ways that money enhances happiness which is contrary to the popular notion that money can’t buy happiness. 1. Spending on others: Social scientists have found that spending money to buy gifts for others or donating to charities promotes happiness (Dunn et al., 2008; Aknin et al., 2020). You don’t have to shell out enormous amounts of money on others to reap this benefit; amounts as low as $5 spent on others are sufficient to produce significant gains in happiness. However, people are still hesitant to spend money on others, mainly because they feel that spending money on themselves will make them happier than spending money on others. Research shows otherwise. 2. Buying an experience: Stu...

Are You Worrying About Not Sleeping? If you are prone for insomnia, then you are already going to bed preoccupied with getting to sleep quickly and obtaining as much sleep as possible. You also worry about the impact of sleep on your physical health and daytime functioning. These excessive worries and ruminations trigger in you a state of physical arousal and emotional distress through activation of the sympathetic nervous system similar to the fight-or-flight response. This arousal and anxious state then narrows your focus to attend to and monitor for sleep-related cues such as: Body sensations for signs consistent with falling asleep: slowing of heart rate and loss of muscle tone.  Body sensations for signs inconsistent with falling asleep: heart pounding quickly and muscle tension.  Surroundings for signs of not falling asleep: noises outside and inside the house.  The clock to see how long it is taking you to fall asleep: “It is 1:30 a.m….I have been trying t...

“Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt or inappropriate guilt” is one of the nine core symptoms of major depressive disorder according to the American Psychiatric Association. Guilt can be an adaptive emotion when it is appropriate to context, is not excessive, is based on altruism (acting with an unselfish regard for others), and serves the purpose of maintaining attachments. However, in depression, guilt tends to be exaggerated or is inappropriate (not relevant to context) and is called maladaptive guilt. Maladaptive guilt presents in depression in one or more of the eight types as described below: 1. Survivor guilt: Survivor guilt first gained attention when survivors from the concentration camps of World War II were noted to harbor feelings of guilt for the loved ones who were killed in the camps. These survivors, years later, developed symptoms of depression and anxiety. Besides combat and natural disasters, survivor guilt has also been observed in medical situations....

Self-Help Vs Self-Management You probably have heard the term “self-help” and may have also read a few self-help books. When it comes to treating depression, most self-help books focus on the acute treatment of depression based on a particular model of therapy, usually the Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT). While the self-help approach tries to address a particular condition using a focused treatment modality over a short period of time, self-management is learning new ways to manage an illness over a longer period of time. In other words, self-management is using the resources and learning the skills to “positively manage” an illness (Lorig et al., 2006). Self-management, besides treating depression, also prevents relapse of depression and helps an individual maintain good mental health on a day-to-day basis. Lorig and colleagues (2006) further elaborate on self-management: it is a “management style” wherein you are a positive self-manager who not only uses the best trea...

We all like getting approval and recognition from others. Approval-seeking is good as long as it remains a desire or a want. For example, your boss approves of your work and you feel happy about it. When approval-seeking turns into a need or a necessity, then you become a victim of the “approval trap” that will either make you vulnerable for depression or, if you are already feeling depressed, will make your depression worse. If you have low self-esteem, which is not uncommon in depression, and seek approval to give yourself a temporary boost, then you are setting yourself up for the “approval trap.” The trap works somewhat like this:    Depression causes you to feel worthless → when you get approval from others, you feel better and less worthless → you try to seek more approval → in seeking more approval, you do things you don’t want to do to please others and avoid your own needs → others get used to your approval-seeking behavior and stop approving your behavior → you ...

You may have a hard time saying no to other people because you are afraid that you will hurt others, appear selfish, look as if you don’t care, or risk a relationship. You may also want people to like you and, especially if you struggle with self-esteem issues, saying "no" may be contrary to your subconscious approval-seeking tendencies. However, you may not have the energy or motivation to do what others want you to do. You then struggle to accomplish what you have said “yes” to, which drives more guilt. You can break this guilt cycle by learning to say “no.” Why is it okay to say “no”? Here are a few good reasons why it is okay to say “no”: Accept that you are not a superhuman who can do everything that everyone wants. Saying “no” doesn’t make you selfish, as you have said “yes” several times to several people in the past. By saying “no,” you are only trying to strike a balance between how much responsibility you can and cannot handle. Pleasing everyone every time b...