What Defines Your Self-Worth? It is self-“RESPECT.”

           

Popular self-help books try to convince you that you can improve your self-worth in 10 days. It's not that simple. Let's get to the definition of self-worth first. The American Psychological Association's Dictionary of Psychology defines self-worth as an "individual’s evaluation of himself or herself as a valuable, capable human being deserving of respect and consideration." The more positive feelings of self-worth an individual has, the higher their self-esteem is, while persistent low self-worth can be a symptom of depression. As can be gleaned, the definition of self-worth is highly subjective, and it is not uncommon for people to harbor faulty notions about their self-worth. Your thinking may get skewed into believing that your self-worth is restricted to your performance in certain areas of life that are of special personal importance to you, such as work, family life, or intellectual pursuits. You then mistakenly start defining your self-worth based on your achievements in one particular area of your life. For example, a person in academia may believe that their self-worth depends on their success in producing quality research, publishing papers, or winning awards for their work. However, if they are basing their self-worth only on their work, they will likely feel discouraged if they don’t meet their expectations. The concept of self is too broad and complex to be assigned a single global rating of whether one is worthy or worthless. Self-respect is considered the same as self-worth, and the word RESPECT aptly describes the attributes of self-worth (Duggal, 2016).

 
R: Roles: What meaningful roles do you have in your life? Are you a father, a husband, a coach, a brother, a sister, a parent, a teacher, a student, an employee, etc.?

E: Emotions: What has your general state of mood been? Do you feel happy, sad, angry, anxious, content, frustrated, etc.? How are you feeling in the present moment? 

S: Skills and abilities: What skills and abilities do you have? Are you good at any hobbies? Are you known for any particular kind of trade skills?  

P: Perspective: How do you interpret situations or experiences? What are your core beliefs regarding yourself, others, and the world? How do you view your physical self and your intellect?

E: Ethics and morals:  What ethics and morals do you have for yourself and others? What are your values?

C: Character: What traits have you acquired with maturity? Are you thoughtful, kind, honest, a person of integrity, caring, compassionate, bold, courageous, etc.?

T: Temperament: What is your natural predisposition? What is your habitual or emotional inclination? Are you introverted, extroverted, shy, outgoing, optimist, pessimist, easygoing, spiritual, suspicious, high-strung, etc.?

The permutations and combinations of the attributes under “RESPECT” run into thousands, and these are what define your self-worth. Therefore, when you characterize yourself as worthless based on a single attribute, you are giving into irrational thought processes such as all-or-none thinking, overgeneralization, and discounting the positives. You tend to focus on one area of your life (e.g., work or relationships) and dwell on your inadequacies in that area to give yourself an overall rating – “I am incompetent,” “I am a failure,” or “I am worthless.” This defies logic because you cannot give a single rating to your self-worth that depends upon thousands of variables. Thus, the next time you are feeling worthless, ask yourself if you are defining your self-worth too narrowly and that too mostly on external factors. Instead, strive for unconditional self-worth that is infinite, internal, eternal, and doesn't have to be earned or proved. 

To learn more about evidence-based self-management techniques that promote mental health and well-being, check out Dr. Duggal's Author Page.

HARPREET S. DUGGAL, MD, FAPA 

REFERENCES

Duggal, H.S. (2016). The Complete Guide to Self-Management of Depression. Bloomington, IN: Archway Publishing.