Skip to main content

4 Ways to Make Sense of Your Life


When asked about what their meaning in life is, most people go into a rambling monologue about the sources that create meaning in life such as family, relationships, work, hobbies, spirituality, etc. Or, after a nervous chuckle, they try to change the subject. Truthfully, what exactly meaning in life means is not easy to define and, not surprisingly, meaning in life often gets confused with other states of mind or psychological constructs. It gets mixed up with happiness (which is more akin to pleasure and immediate satisfaction), identity (which involves a more global sense of self), well-being (which is more reflective of quality of life), and search for meaning (which involves seeking meaning) (Hill, 2018).

Why is this abstract concept of meaning in life so important? Research shows that having meaning in life helps you interpret and organize your experiences, build a sense of your own worth, identify what matters to you, and direct your energies more effectively. Having a greater sense of meaning in life is associated with a greater sense of well-being, sense of coherence, self-transcendence, resiliency, optimism, self-esteem, longevity, and perceived social support (Heisel & Flett, 2016). Higher levels of meaning in life predict lower levels of depression and several studies have used interventions to enhance one’s sense of meaning in life (e.g., logotherapy and meaning-centered therapy) and demonstrated a reduction in depressive symptoms (Duggal, 2018).

Social psychologist Roy Baumeister has noted that people require life to make sense in at least four basic ways (Baumeister, 1991). These four ways or needs are:

1. Purpose: This is the need to be able to interpret present events as a part of a bigger picture in the future. You can have extrinsic purposes or goals (desired, possible future circumstances) and intrinsic purposes or fulfillments (desired, possible future subjective states which are inherently good). Meaning in life may be derived from one's pursuit of extrinsic goals or intrinsic fulfillments even if these are not realized. It, however, helps to have meaningful life goals. 

2. Value or justification: This is the need to regard your actions as right and good. You want to see your present and past actions as not being objectionable and to see your life having positive value. Values are what we want to stand for in life, how we want to behave, what sort of person we want to be, and what sort of strengths and qualities we want to develop. Completing the statement "I do this for the sake of..." for your actions in a sequential manner until you don't have an answer will lead you to your core values. You can use other value-focused exercises  to clarify your values. A helpful reminder here is that values are subjective. 

3. Efficacy: This is the sense of having control over events and that you are making a difference and feel strong and capable. Goals and values may steer you towards a particular action path but if it lacks challenge and is too easy, then there is little sense of efficacy. Believing that one has control makes one feel good and, in contrast, prolonged or severe experiences of inefficacy lead to learned helplessness, a harbinger of depression. While you can try to control the environment you are in, this may not always be possible. This is where interpretive control comes in to the picture. Interpretive control is changing yourself to fit the environment by interpreting and understanding that you have a sense of control over an event even if you cannot do anything about it. A psychological construct that taps into your intrinsic motivation for efficacy is flow - a state of joy and satisfaction in which a person feels that their activity matches their skill set, it being neither too hard and nor too easy. 

4. Self-worth: This is the need to have some claim on respect – both self-respect and respect of others. Self-worth is not a binary all-or-none construct but depends on several attributes such as meaningful roles in life (father, husband, brother, sister, etc.), general state of emotions, skills and abilities, perspectives and core beliefs, ethics and morals, character traits, and temperament. At times, especially when feeling depressed, people start to harbor a skewed negative view of their self-worth based on their inadequate performance in one or more life domains such as work or relationships. Recognizing that self-worth is not dependent on just one or two attributes gives you more meaning in life when you are going through a rough patch. 

These four needs, though not necessary for survival, do cause frustration and distress when they are not satisfied. When people are deprived of a source of meaning in life, they first try to explore their existing sources of meaning to make up for the deficit. And if this fails, they look to add entirely new sources. For example, a person in their mid-life may turn to their family and hobbies when career goals cease to be a viable source of meaning in life. It is prudent to derive meaning of life from a combination of sources – from family, work, personal achievements, friends, religion and spirituality, sports, social activism, art, politics, and hobbies. This protects you from being vulnerable if you were to depend on one or two life domains to provide that meaning and were having difficulties in those domains.

To learn more about evidence-based self-management techniques that promote mental health and well-being, check out Dr. Duggal's Author Page.

HARPREET S. DUGGAL, MD, FAPA

REFERENCES

Baumeister, R. F. (1991). Meanings of life. New York, NY: The Guildford Press. 

Duggal, H. S. (2018). The Happiness guide to self-management of depression. Bloomington, IN: Archway Publishing.

Heisel, M. J., & Flett, G. L. (2016). Does recognition of meaning in life confer resiliency to suicide ideation among community-residing older adults? A longitudinal investigation. American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, 24(6), 455-466.

Hill, C. E. (2018). Meaning in life: A therapist’s guide. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

10 Poor Listening Styles to Avoid

When we talk about communication, we mostly focus on speaking, writing, and reading. Listening is seldom emphasized as a primary form of communication, even though listening enables us to satisfy an individual’s deep psychological needs – to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, and to be appreciated (Covey, 2020). We mostly listen not to understand but to prepare response, judge, or interpret information through our own motives and frame of reference. These poor listening styles can be subsumed under these 10 categories (Covey 2014, Harvard Business Review Press, 2019): 1. Spacing out or ignoring is when you zone out because you are too preoccupied with your own thoughts. This does happen to all of us, but you don’t want to be labelled as a spacey person if this keeps happening to you.  2. Pretend or removed listening is where you may be multitasking and give the speaker the impression that you are paying attention using fillers like “yeah,” uh-huh,” “right,” “cool” or...
Post a Comment
Read more

The 6 Facets of Impostor Syndrome and its Relation to Depression

A lot has been written recently about impostor syndrome, also called impostor phenomenon in scientific literature. Most pop psychology descriptions of this condition, which impairs professional performance and leads to burnout, skew towards making this a syndrome of perceived fraudulence or fear of being seen as fake. However, the fact is that people with impostor syndrome describe a myriad of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and none of the existing scales capture all the facets of this complex and multifaceted syndrome (Mark et al., 2019). Also, contrary to popular belief, impostor syndrome is not limited to highly successful individuals and depends more on how people respond to specific achievement tasks when there is an element of being appraised.  The six facets that define this phenomenon are discussed below: (Bravata et al., 2019; Clance & Imes, 1978; Walker & Saklofske, 2023). 1. Fake: This attribute is the closest to the original conceptualization of imposto...
Post a Comment
Read more

Value-Based Goals: The Antidote for “Success Depression”

A disconnect between your present accomplishments and your core values may make you suffer from success depression  wherein despite “having it all” (e.g., successful career, stable relationships, healthy children, etc.), you still struggle with depression and view your accomplishments as hollow (Zettle, 2007). The cure for this malaise is to clarify your core values and have goals and actions that are driven by these values. Psychotherapist Russ Harris describes values as our heart’s deepest desires for the way we want to interact with the world, other people, and ourselves. They are what we want to stand for in life, how we want to behave, what sort of person we want to be, and what sort of strengths and qualities we want to develop (Harris, 2009). Values are subjective; what one may consider as a value (e.g., being famous) may be considered as being cocky by another person. Moreover, values do change with time. For instance, you may value social popularity and raising a fa...
Post a Comment
Read more