Why Do Some People Get Angry More Easily Than Others?

Anger is a common normal emotion that we all experience in our daily lives. Not all anger is bad as it helps you focus on self-defense, mastery, and control, especially when there is a perception that your goals are being blocked (Linehan, 2015). But anger can also become problematic if it is out of proportion to the triggering situation, or leads to aggression or destruction, or is too frequent. People differ in their expression of anger. What may make one individual angry may not be perceived as anger-provoking by another individual. In Aristotle's words, which ring true even today, "Anybody can become angry-that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way-that is not within everybody's power and is not easy." 

While it may not always be possible to predict when one may get angry, trying to understand the reasons behind this variation in the expression of anger would help one become more cognizant of the psychological underpinnings of this emotion. Here are 3 reasons why some people get angry more easily than others (Davies, 2008; Gilbert, 2009):

1. Difference in perception of the trigger: 

The same trigger may evoke anger or irritability in one individual and none at all in another. For example, on hearing a child cry on a flight, a fellow passenger may feel irritable or angry that the parents of the child are being inconsiderate of others, while someone else may perceive it as part and parcel of any family traveling with children. Therefore, it is not so much the trigger itself that decides whether one gets angry or not, but how one appraises and judges the trigger. Your appraisal and judgments are based on factors such as your moral values, rules/principles, beliefs about yourself, people and the world around you, and beliefs about how anger may be expressed. These factors in turn are driven by past experience, culture, and upbringing. A person who believes that people in general are basically good at heart may perceive a situation differently from a person who believes that people in general are selfish and self-serving. Other common beliefs include, “Life should be fair,” or “Everyone should follow the rules,” or “Good should prevail over evil,” or “People should always do the right thing.” However, not everyone abides by these inflexible beliefs, which then leads to anger in the staunch followers of these beliefs. Some of the common irrational thinking patterns in anger are described below (Burns, 1999):

• Labeling: “He is such a jerk.”
• Mind reading: “He is being unfair to me.”
• Overgeneralization: “He doesn’t care about anything.”
• Magnification: “I can’t take this anymore.”
• Shoulds and musts: “This shouldn’t have happened,” or “I must be treated fairly.”
• Misinterpreting intent and taking things personally: "He is intentionally mistreating me."

2. Internal and external inhibitions:

Inhibitions are kind of self-control mechanism that prevent your anger from spiraling out of control. The analogy is that of car brakes that prevents you from going too far too fast. Inhibitions are of two types:

a). Internal or moral inhibitions: These are thoughts or moral rules that you have for yourself and are not dependent on consequences or external threats. For example, you may believe, “It is wrong to go hit people,” or “It is wrong to be frequently angry with people.” These internal inhibitions can be your own rules or imposed by societal norms. The key question to elicit the rule underlying an internal inhibition is, “What if everybody did this?” To exemplify, if everybody went around snapping at people, then our lives on this planet would get very tough. The other key question to unearth an internal inhibition is, “Does everyone follow this rule?” If the answer is yes, then it is a society-induced internal inhibition – an example being the laws that govern a country.

b). External or practical inhibitions: External inhibitions come from the awareness of the dire consequences of your inappropriate reaction to anger. Examples include, breaking the law and getting into legal trouble, financial consequences, effect on relationships or work, etc. For instance, you are disgruntled with your boss and want to give him your piece of mind, but displace your anger to your loved ones when you go home because chances are that you will be fired if you did that.

3. Frustration tolerance:

Frustration tolerance is one’s ability to tolerate discomfort during the achievement of one’s goals. People with low frustration tolerance believe that they must be comfortable in all aspects of their lives and when these dogmatic standards are not met, they tend to awfulize leading to anger and irritability (Ellis & Dryden, 1997). 

The “leaky bucket” analogy of anger

A useful analogy for understanding anger and its ramifications is the “leaky bucket” (Davies, 2008). Anger is viewed as a leaky bucket with holes that is full with water. In contrast to the popular notion that one has to express anger to prevent it from building up, anger, just like a leaky bucket, gradually dissipates. Anger can also build up, like increasing amounts of water being poured into the leaky bucket and, of course, if filled too quickly it will overflow, leading to an anger outburst. The holes in the bucket represent the internal and external inhibitions that prevent the overt expression of anger. Thus, people with more holes in the leaky bucket (with more inhibitions) take longer to get angry. If one tries to plug the holes in the leaky bucket (by disregarding the inhibitions), then the bucket overflows quickly.

Whatever your psychological reasons are for getting angry, the key thing to remember is that your anger is in proportion to the situation. Of course, anger can also be a manifestation of an underlying mental illness, in which case it is advisable to seek professional help. For instance, anger or irritability may not be the core symptoms of depression in adults, but almost 50% of people with depression experience these symptoms (Judd et al., 2013).

To learn more about evidence-based self-management techniques that promote mental health and well-being, check out Dr. Duggal's Author Page.

HARPREET S. DUGGAL, MD, FAPA

REFERENCES

Burns, D. D. (1999). Feeling good: The new mood therapy. New York, NY: Avon Books.

 
Davies, W. (2008). Overcoming anger and irritability: A self-help guide using cognitive behavioral techniques. NY, New York: Basic Books.

 
Ellis, A., & Dryden, W. (1997). The practice of rational emotive behavior therapy (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Springer Publishing Company, Inc.

 
Gilbert, P. (2009). Overcoming depression: A self-help guide to using cognitive behavioral techniques. New York, NY: Basic Books.

Judd, L. L., Schettler, P. J., Coryell, W., Akiskal, H. S., & Fiedorowicz, J. G. (2013). Overt irritability/anger in unipolar major depressive episodes: past and current characteristics and implications for long-term course. JAMA Psychiatry, 70(11), 1171-1180.

Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). New York, NY: The Guildford Press.