Skip to main content

9 Attributes of Self-Compassion


Self-compassion is compassion turned inwards, i.e., how you relate to yourself in instances of perceived failure, inadequacy, or personal suffering. Self-compassion involves being touched by and open to your own suffering, not avoiding or disconnecting from it, generating the desire to alleviate your suffering, and to heal yourself with kindness (Neff, 2003). While much has been written in the popular media about strategies, including well-known meditation exercises such as loving-kindness meditation, to enhance self-compassion, the attributes that foster it haven't received much attention. Self-compassion is not a one-size-fits-all intervention that will work for everyone, which is why knowledge of these attributes will help you decide if this can be an effective strategy for you. Paul Gilbert and colleagues, leading researchers in the field of self-compassion, have identified the following attributes as being quintessential to experiencing self-compassion (Gilbert, 2009; Gilbert & Procter, 2006):
  1. Care for well-being: You are motivated to alleviate distress and facilitate your growth.
  2. Sensitivity: You are sensitive to your needs and signals of distress.
  3. Valuing compassion: You value compassion as an attitude that makes you stronger and confident rather than weaker.
  4. Self-empathy: You can stand back from and understand your own thoughts and feelings.
  5. Sympathy: You can learn to be sad without being depressed, e.g., without telling yourself that there is something wrong or bad about feeling sad.
  6. Forgiveness: Forgiveness allows you to be open to and learn from your mistakes.
  7. Non-judgment: You don’t condemn, criticize, shame, or reject thoughts or feelings. However, being non-judgmental doesn’t mean that you don’t have preferences.
  8. Distress tolerance: You can contain, stay with, and tolerate complex and high levels of emotion, rather than avoid, fearfully divert from, close down, contradict, invalidate, or deny them.
  9. Taking responsibility: You take responsibility for recognizing your self-critical thinking and use your compassionate side to provide alternative views and feelings.
Self-compassion arises when you can use these competencies to develop genuine concern for your well-being. If you haven't benefited from self-compassion interventions, do some self-reflection to determine if you need to work on one or more of these attributes first. Drawing upon compassionate memories during self-compassionate exercises can be uncomfortable for people with a history of trauma, a high level of shame, or those who are highly self-critical. Seeking one-on-one psychotherapy would be more appropriate for these individuals.

To learn more about evidence-based self-management techniques that promote mental health and well-being, check out Dr. Duggal's Author Page.

HARPREET S. DUGGAL, MD, FAPA

REFERENCES

Gilbert, P (2009). Introducing compassion-focused therapy. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 15, 199-208.

Gilbert, P., & Procter, S. (2006). Compassionate mind training for people with high shame and self-criticism: overview and pilot study of a group therapy approach. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 13, 353-379.

Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion: an alternative conceptualization of healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2, 85-101.









Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

7 Questions That Will Help You Overcome Anxiety, Fear and Panic

Anxiety, fear, and panic are associated with irrational thoughts involving themes of threat or danger. These irrational thoughts take the form of “if” or “what if” beliefs. For example, a person who is afraid of heights may think, “If I am on the elevator alone and it gets stuck, no one will be able to save me,” or a person with panic disorder may believe, “If my heart beats too fast, it means that I am probably having a heart attack.” The “if” and “what if” thinking in anxiety disorders is a byproduct of your irrational thought patterns, including magnification, catastrophizing, overgeneralizing, and “should” and “must statements.” Sometimes, anxiety is a result of genuine problems or situations that have no solutions. How does one then decide to challenge one's irrational thinking or problem-solve, or try acceptance strategies? The seven questions that will help you guide your decision to choose one path over another to overcome anxiety are as follows:  What is the likelihoo...
2 comments
Read more

Situational Analysis: An Effective Tool to Address Maladaptive Social Patterns in Chronic Depression

Approximately 30% of individuals with depressed mood develop a chronic course as defined by the criteria for persistent depressive disorder (PDD) (Struck et al., 2021). Research shows that depressed individuals have difficulties in handling another person's negative state or suffering, getting overwhelmed in emotionally tense situations, a condition called empathic distress. This leads to an avoidant interpersonal style due to fear of interaction with others, which in turn deprives these individuals of positive interpersonal experiences, thus perpetuating depressive symptoms (Struck et al., 2021). Situational analysis is a technique used in the Cognitive Behavioral Analysis System of Psychotherapy (CBASP). CBASP is one of the few psychotherapies effective for chronic depression and PDD (Wiersma et al., 2014; Wiersma et al., 2021). CBASP combines behavioral and cognitive strategies with a problem-solving focus and emphasizes interpersonal issues. Its primary goals are to help indivi...
Post a Comment
Read more

What Does it Really Mean to be Resilient?

What Constitutes Resilience? When adversity strikes, we are reminded to be "resilient." But what does it really mean to be resilient? For starters, resilience is not a single entity but a broad array of abilities for constructively and positively adapting to risk, adversity, or some monumental negative event (Dunn et al., 2009). Implicit within this definition are the two critical components of resilience – experiencing an adversity and a positive adaptation to it. Positive adaption has variously been defined, and the general consensus is that it connotes not only an absence or low levels of psychological symptoms (e.g., anxiety or depression) but also competence to meet societal and cultural expectations (Masten, 2001). The good news is that resilience is not a personality attribute that is fixed but is a dynamic process that individuals can develop (Luthar et al., 2000). In other words, no one is “born” or “naturally” resilient; it is something you learn and develop o...
Post a Comment
Read more