Skip to main content

Eight Ways to Master the Art of Small Talk



There are some social rituals that we cannot avoid, especially when interacting with people we donā€™t know, and nothing is more universally disliked than the ritual of small talk. Small talk is a fine art that balances the use of some better questions to open the conversation and then navigate the talk without lingering on obligatory foundational topics about how oneā€™s weekend was or discussing the weather. If you find yourself avoiding social interactions due to being uncomfortable and embarrassed about small talk, here are eight ways to get better at it and not make it awkward or superficial (Duhigg, 2024; Haupt, 2023; Lee, 2025).

1. Ask better questions

2. Improve your replies

3. Ask better follow-up questions

4. Take cues from your surroundings

5. Move beyond the foundational topics (e.g., the weather talk)

6. Choose your compliments wisely

7. Skip specific topics such as religion and politics

8. Know how to end the conversation gracefully

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Value-Based Goals: The Antidote for ā€œSuccess Depressionā€

A disconnect between your present accomplishments and your core values may make you suffer from success depression  wherein despite ā€œhaving it allā€ (e.g., successful career, stable relationships, healthy children, etc.), you still struggle with depression and view your accomplishments as hollow (Zettle, 2007). The cure for this malaise is to clarify your core values and have goals and actions that are driven by these values. Psychotherapist Russ Harris describes values as our heartā€™s deepest desires for the way we want to interact with the world, other people, and ourselves. They are what we want to stand for in life, how we want to behave, what sort of person we want to be, and what sort of strengths and qualities we want to develop (Harris, 2009). Values are subjective; what one may consider as a value (e.g., being famous) may be considered as being cocky by another person. Moreover, values do change with time. For instance, you may value social popularity and raising a fa...

10 Poor Listening Styles to Avoid

When we talk about communication, we mostly focus on speaking, writing, and reading. Listening is seldom emphasized as a primary form of communication, even though listening enables us to satisfy an individualā€™s deep psychological needs ā€“ to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, and to be appreciated (Covey, 2020). We mostly listen not to understand but to prepare response, judge, or interpret information through our own motives and frame of reference. These poor listening styles can be subsumed under these 10 categories (Covey 2014, Harvard Business Review Press, 2019): 1. Spacing out or ignoring is when you zone out because you are too preoccupied with your own thoughts. This does happen to all of us, but you donā€™t want to be labelled as a spacey person if this keeps happening to you.  2. Pretend or removed listening is where you may be multitasking and give the speaker the impression that you are paying attention using fillers like ā€œyeah,ā€ uh-huh,ā€ ā€œright,ā€ ā€œcoolā€ or...

Are You Suffering from Loneliness?

What is loneliness? Loneliness is a fundamental aspect of life; at some point, everyone will experience it to varying degrees. Even though it is recognized as a public health concern (Office of the Surgeon General, 2023), there is still a need for more discussion about what the experience of loneliness entails and how to recognize it in oneself or others. For starters, loneliness is the distressing feeling you experience when there is a discrepancy between the interpersonal relationships you wish to have and those you currently have (Peplau & Perlman, 1982). It is not the number or frequency of social contacts but your subjective appraisal of the quality of relationships and the satisfaction with the relationships that influences loneliness (Heinrich & Gullone, 2006). Moreover, loneliness is not synonymous with social isolation, nor is it an inevitable consequence of being alone. You can be in the company of others and still experience loneliness, whereas you may not feel...