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Finding the Silver Lining When Feeling Depressed



We have all heard the phrase “every cloud has a silver lining,” which suggests that there is something good in every outcome, no matter how difficult or challenging the situation may be. This is also relevant when it comes to using optimism as a tool to overcome depression. When going through the throes of depression with its propensity to see everything in a negative light, being optimistic can be challenging. However, one can still find optimism even in adversity and suffering as did Victor Frankl during his years in the World War II Nazi concentration camp (Frankl, 2006). Frankl describes “tragic optimism” as:
  • Feeling optimistic in the face of tragedy
  • Making the best of any given situation
  • Turning suffering into a human achievement and accomplishment
  • Using guilt as an opportunity to change yourself for the better
  • Using the knowledge that life is transitory as an incentive to take responsible action
If you can learn to identify something good in a bad situation, then finding the one positive element in life’s more mundane situations becomes easier. This approach to training your mind to be optimistic differs from cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) strategies, which aim to reduce negative and irrational thought patterns. This becomes significant in people who are depressed, given the evidence that lowering negative thoughts does not automatically lead to more positive thoughts or greater psychological well-being. Put differently, a person who feels less worthless would not necessarily think that life is worthwhile (Riskind et al., 1996). Optimism training can be considered for those with depression who have failed to respond to cognitive therapy as they feel too demoralized or pessimistic about their own abilities to affect their lives positively (Stewart et al., 1993). The technique for finding the silver lining in a challenging situation is described next (Neff, 2011; Riskind et al., 1996). 

Think about a situation that was particularly challenging for you, and you thought that you would never get through it at the time. Continuing to think about the situation, ask yourself the following questions:
  • “Can I think of anything good that came out of the experience?”
  • “What did I learn from the situation?”
  • “Did I develop any strengths as a result of this situation?”
  • “How did it add more meaning to my life?”
  • “If I could, would I go back in time and change what happened, if it meant that I wouldn’t be the person I am now because of it?”
Next, consider a challenging situation you are currently facing. Ask yourself the following questions:
  • “Is there any way to see my problem in a different light?”
  • “Is there anything positive that might come out of my present situation?”
  • “Are there any hidden opportunities in this situation?”
Your goal in the “silver lining” technique is not just to put a positive spin on a given situation and sweep things under the rug, but to find one positive element in what may otherwise be a dismal situation. The positive element can be hypothetical or theoretical and does not require evidence to support it. The intent here is not to let negative thoughts monopolize and paralyze one's thinking, compromising mental flexibility, which can negatively impact coping and problem-solving.  An example of this technique is an individual who became depressed after their divorce, and their silver lining was that they were spending more time with their child and feeling closer to them. If you are having difficulty finding the silver lining in a challenging situation, it may mean that you need to cultivate more self-compassion. 

As is true in many realms of life, more is not always better, and the same holds for optimism. Optimism can potentially lead to problems in specific contexts, such as gambling, or when the cost of failure is too high (e.g., a pilot flying a plane), or when goals are likely unattainable (Duggal, 2018). Knowing when to quit or disengage from an unattainable goal that may lead to mental and physical exhaustion would be more desirable than pursuing the quest for the silver lining.

If you are finding yourself demoralized and unhappy and have tried the traditional psychotherapies that focus on deficits, disorders, symptoms, and syndromes, add strategies that promote happiness and well-being, such as finding the silver lining while also being cognizant that unrealistic optimism can backfire. 

Visit Dr. Duggal’s Author Page to explore effective self-management strategies for enhancing mental health and well-being.

HARPREET S. DUGGAL, MD, FAPA

REFERENCES

Duggal, H. S. (2018). The happiness guide to self-management of depression. Bloomington, IN: Archway Publishing.

Frankl, V. E. (2006). Man’s search for meaning. Boston, MA: Beacon Press.

Neff, K. (2011). Self-compassion. New York, NY: William Morrow.

Riskind, J. H., Sarampote, C. S., & Mercier, M. A. (1996). For every malady a sovereign cure: optimism training. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 10(2), 105-117.

Stewart, J. W., Mercier, M. A., Quitkin, F. M., McGarth, P. J., Nunes, E., Young, J., Ocepek-Welikson, K., & Trocanom, E. (1993). Demoralization predicts nonresponse to cognitive therapy in depressed outpatients. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 7, 105-116.  

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